Movie Review: Black Swan

Black Swan

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Year: 2010
Genre: Drama / Horror
Notable Cast: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Brit McFenchface
Netflix Link: Black Swan
Quote to Note: Wait, did you have some sort of lezzy wet dream about me?

Review: Two movies in a row with not a boat to show for my efforts, but damn have they been good films.

First, don't let the trailer for Black Swan fool you, this is not a chick flick. It is in fact a psychological horror film and it is frightening to watch unfold. In the vein of "The Shining", Black Swan follows the deterioration of a seemingly normal girl's mental state to the point of dementia. As the story progresses Nina (Natalie Portman) becomes so engrossed with her role in the upcoming ballet that she essentially transforms into her evil alter ego. It moves at a precisely deliberate pace and hits on every emotion it is trying to provoke in the audience. I highly recommend this film to anyone regardless of the type of films you prefer. This movie deserves to win Best Picture this year.

I subtracted half a Nolte head for the lack of boats and the appearance of Brit McFrenchface. Even though he was quite good in this film.

Score:
(9.5 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Machete

Machete

Director: Robert Rodriguez / Ethan Maniquis
Year: 2010
Genre: Mexican Action
Notable Cast: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez
Netflix Link: Machete
Quote to Note: Machete don't text.

Review: A Mexican kills people with a Machete. Do I need to say more?

Score:
(8 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Devil

Devil
Director: John Erick Dowdle
Year: 2010
Genre: Mystery, Thriller
Notable Cast: Chris Messina, Logan Marshall-Greene, Jenny O'Hara
Netflix Link: Devil
Quote to Note: It's like when people see Jesus in a pancake or something. 

Review:  This Happens to be one of Mr. Philadelphia, M. Night Shyamalan's latest flicks.  Lets all be glad he didn't direct this one though.  I happen to hate Philadelphia.  So some of his flicks tend to be good cause stuff in Philly gets destroyed in his movies.  Most not so good.  There is always a twist in his movies as well.  I love twists, as much as Denzel loves to hate on Tom Hanks' AIDS. (see what I did there?)


The basic plot is five people are stuck in an elevator and a bunch of crazy shit starts happening after the elevator gets stuck.  As the title states, there is some work of the devil going on as well.  


The twist Shyamalan throws at the end of this movie is unreal.  Fucking mind blowing.  Throughout the entire movie you don't get the privilege of seeing any boats.  None.  The last scene as the camera pans over the Ben Franklin Bridge, the very last thing you see is a mother fucking MARINA, with you guessed it, an ass load of awesome glorious boats.  The best ending to a movie I have ever witnessed.  Hats of M. Night, hats off.  Now I have to go change my pants.

Score:
(7.5 Nolte Heads out of 10)