Movie Review: Contagion

Contagion

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Year: 2011
Genre: Drama / Thriller
Notable Cast: Matt Damon, Jude Law, Larry Fishburne, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltrow's Mortified Corpse
Netflix Link: Contagion
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Review: The funny part about this movie is that there isn't a moment in the film where anything remotely funny happens. Unfortunately, no one told the retard next to me that he wasn't watching a comedy. This asshole was laughing as the entire population got infected and died. Even better yet, he continued to laugh when children died. Pretty sure when the subject of this movie becomes a reality I will know who spreads the virus. I followed him out of the theater to see what kind of car he drove, and it definitely explains his sadism. He drove a Kia Sportage.


Anyway, this movie is about a global epidemic that is caused by a pig fucking a bat. Then a fat Asian stuffs his hand inside of said pig, and then inside of Gwyneth Paltrow. Of course there are boats. How else would a virus spread?

Score:
(8 Nolte Heads out of 10)