Movie Review: District 9

District 9


Director: Neill Blomkamp
Year: 2009
Genre: Sci-Fi / Action
Notable Cast: Sharlton Copley, Aliens
Netflix Link: District 9
Quote to Note: Look, he's doing this one doggie-style.


Review: Wow! This film has it all. A deep, thought provoking story, action, humor, gore, and a ship. While it’s not the typical nautical variety it is a mothership. And it’s bigger than Megamaid.

One thing I wasn’t expecting was the insane amount of human chunks. I can’t even begin to count how many people get pulverized into piles of meat. Alien technology proves to be far superior to human flesh. Thank God for violence.

Don’t miss this film. An instant classic.

Score:
(10 Swayze Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Timecrimes

Timecrimes
Director: Nacho Vigalondo
Year: 2007
Genre: Sci-Fi / Horror
Notable Cast: Karra Elejalde, Barbara Goenaga
Netflix Link: Timecrimes
Quote to Note: Hector 3 told me.


Review: There are no boats in this movie. Fortunately there are boobs. Really though, how can you go wrong with a movie made by a man named Nacho? One of my favorite things in this film was the subtitles. Yes, this film is of foreign origin. There was one particular scene where they show a calendar up close and the month clearly says "Septiembre". The overanxious subtitler thought that it was necessary to put "SEPTEMBER" in big bold letters at the bottom of the screen. If you can't process that translation on your own, you may want to consider euthanasia. Thank you captain obvious. Overall this was a really well made little Sci-Fi / Horror film.

Score:
(7.5 Swayze Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Special

Special


Director: Hal Haberman and Jeremy Passmore
Year: 2006
Genre: Drama / Fantasy
Notable Cast: Michael Rapaport,Josh Peck
Netflix Link: Special
Quote to Note: I have superpowers.


Review: Two movies in a row for me with no boats. I'd kill myself except I yearn for a seafaring vessel. I will try my hardest to watch a movie, TV show, or news report with a water craft ASAP. The one thing I can say about this film is it had a remarkable trailer. Unfortunately most of the movie was worse than dying. Every time a scene passed without a boat I punched myself in the nuts.

Great trailer, mediocre movie. Fuck off to directors who decide to leave out boats.




Score:
(3.5 Swayze Heads out of 10)