Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Happy Fucking Birthday Nick


Happy motherfucking birthday Mr. Nick Nolte.  

I want to tell you a small story I have about Mr. Nick. 

 It was about two years ago.  I was in California to see what everyone kept raving about this "awesome" weather.  Well, it was a Tuesday, the sun was beating down on me like a husband on a wife in Alabama.  I was dripping, sweating through my shirt, so I went to go find some air conditioning.  As I was on this hunt, I applied some chapstick and got laughed at by some queer ass, low pants wearing, fucks on skateboards drinking Voss water.  I ignored them and then walked about 20 yards and out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of this gleaming neon in red white and blue.  I turn to look at it, PBR.  I ventured into the bar, and right to the bathroom to take off my shorts and shirt and sit in the stall to cool off.  As I'm sitting in there, a man walks in and is on his cell phone.  He was screaming violently into this phone and then I hear a pause.  Next thing I hear is "FUCK" and a loud crash against the wall.  So I walk out of the stall to see what was up, forgetting to put my sweat soaked clothes on.  It was Nick Nolte, he takes one look at me and says "Move, you creepy ass fucking shitclown" and then walked out.


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