Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Year: 2010
Genre: Thriller
Notable Cast: Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie
Netflix Link: The Tourist
Quote to Note: Bon Jovi!
Review: After an obnoxious delay on movie reviews we come back with The Tourist. Two huge actors in one film. I am sure all three of you readers are going to be really shitstakenly pleased here.
The plot of the movie? Well it was okay, until the end of the movie. Just kind of left me pissed off. The rest of the movie? Oh Hell yes. The film takes place in Venice. What is the major form of transport in Venice? Boats. There were an absolute insane amount of watercraft in this film I couldn't contain myself. Literally, I think even at one point in the film I bought a plane ticket to Venice on Expedia. I have to check my email for my departure date. The one part I disliked immensely was when Elise (Angelina Jolie) backed her stolen boat into another boat and smashed it up. But remarkably the boats in Italy are fucking almost indestructible. It repaired itself mid scene. I got a bit a chubby from that one.
Don't be mistaken by the rating here. I threw on two extra Nolte heads for the amount of watercraft vessels and the pure beauty of each one. They were works of art. Sad to see them in such a film with these two actors, when a watercraft of that beauty was not even a designated place for them to fuck on. I am currently being bombarded with emails and will end this review. I think it is Expedia cancelling my flight because I am so poor, I'm sure my credit card was denied.
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