Movie Review: The Crazies

The Crazies

Director: Breck Eisner
Year: 2010
Genre: Sci-fi/Thriller
Notable Cast: Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson
Netflix Link: The Crazies
Quote to Note: "Boo-fuckin-ya"

Review: When I get to watch zombie-like movies, I get the kind of excited you get when penetrate your first woman. Well, that unfortunately didn't happen with this one. Mainly because there was no eating of flesh. That's what a zombie movie is right? Well I guess that's why this movie is called The Crazies and not The Zombies. Don't get me wrong though, this movie is full of excitement, in barely lit scenes. If it wasn't for Radha Mitchell's glowing blonde hair I would have thought Timothy Olyphant was two people. And for fuck's sake, will people read Zombie survival guides!? Joe Anderson's character (Russel) was the only fucking smart person in the entire god damn movie. He obviously watched Zombieland because he liked the "double tap". Other than that, I would have liked to see a few more fishing boats...maybe like an entire swamp filled with fishing boats to get my rocks off. Instead, we only get one...at the 20 minute mark.

Score:
(7 Nolte Heads out of 10)