Movie Review: Surrogates

Surrogates

Director: Jonathan Mostow
Year: 2009
Genre: Sci-Fi / Action
Notable Cast: Bruce Willis, Jack Noseworthy, Radha Mitchell, Robots
Netflix Link: Surrogates
Quote to Note: Honey, I don't know what you are. You could be some big fat dude sitting in a stim-chair with his dick hanging out.

Review: The horribly gay dance club is an interesting choice for the start of this movie. Introducing Bruce Willis as a homosexual robot. Why is every surrogate flamboyant? At least they destroy every piece of robotic faggotry at the end of this film.

This movie makes I, Robot look heterosexual. What a piece of cybernetic shit.

Score:
(4 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Observe and Report

Observe and Report

Director: Jody Hill
Year: 2009
Genre: Comedy
Notable Cast: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Flaccid Cock, and Ray Liotta
Netflix Link: Observe and Report
Quote to Note: My dick is brown, you dumb mother fucker!

Review: If you like flaccid cock in your films, then this movie is for you. If you don't, then this film may still be for you. Either way, this film is filled with flaccid cock.

Score:
(7 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Zombieland

Zombieland

Director: Ruben Fleischer
Year: 2009
Genre: Action / Comedy
Notable Cast: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Bill Murray
Netflix Link: Zombieland
Quote to Note: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?

Review: How do I describe Zombieland? Fun? Check. Action-packed? Check. Boats? Nope. Is the movie good? Fuck yeah. If you enjoy the senseless beating of re-animated corpses this film is for you.

Score:
(9 Nolte Heads out of 10)