Movie Review: Up in the Air

Up in the Air



Director: Jason Reitman
Year: 2009
Genre: Drama / Comedy
Notable Cast: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, Jason Bateman
Netflix Link: Up in the Air
Quote to Note: Think of me, as you with a vagina.

Review: Being a director snob I would have watched this movie even if the star was Kirk Cameron. Being a boat snob I almost had to pass on this film since it obviously takes place on airplanes and at airports. I'll sum up the film by quoting Jason Bateman's character:

"See this. This is the boat. Do you want to be on the boat? Get on the boat."

Agreed. Get on the fucking boat.


Score:
(8 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Trick 'r Treat

Trick 'r Treat
Director: Michael Dougherty
Year: 2008
Genre: Horror
Notable Cast: Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, Dylan Baker
Netflix Link: Trick 'r Treat
Quote to Note: Always check your candy.






Review: I had high expectations for this film before watching it. I thought it was going to be about a freestyle boat competition. The idea of checking out the sweet treats that were awarded for insane boating feats sounded incredible. Boy, was I disappointed.

The movie is actually a Creepshow-esque horror anthology. The story revolves around 4 intertwining stories that center on the traditions of Halloween. It goes on to explain how if you disobey these traditions you will be slaughtered by some sort of midget scarecrow. The scarecrow is creepy, but I find it hard to be scared of anyone under 4 feet tall. That being said, there are a few scenes which are worth seeing. Like the lesbian werewolf death rape featuring Rogue from the X-Men movies and my new favorite Halloween past time, carving severed human heads with my child.

*Watercraft did not make an appearance in this picture.

Score:
(5.5 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Boy Eats Girl

Boy Eats Girl
Director: Stephen Bradley
Year: 2005
Genre: Horror / Comedy
Notable Cast: David Leon, Samantha Mumba, Tadhg Murphy
Netflix Link: Boy Eats Girl
Quote to Note: Shit. Someone Ate Her Arm.






Review: If you were trying to escape the zombie holocaust how would you do it? By boat of course! I mean think about it. Zombies move slowly so there is no way they could possibly swim effectively. Or would they float? If zombies could float there would be no need for them to swim. They could just methodically make their way through the waves until they reached their destination. Hmmm. Maybe sailing away from zombies wouldn't be the best way to make your final escape. Oh well. That didn't happen in this film. Although, there were a assload of boats in this film.


Score:
(7 Nolte Heads out of 10)