Director: The Spierig Brothers
Year: 2009
Genre: Horror
Notable Cast: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill
Netflix Link: Daybreakers
Quote to Note: Living in a world where vampires are the dominant species is about as safe as bare backing a 5 dollar whore.
Review: Fuck tweens and their love of gay vampires. This is how our favorite nocturnal murderers should live, dominant! There is only 5% of the human population remaining and vampires are going bat-shit crazy because they are running out of blood. Along comes a hematologist vampire who devises a way to cure vampirism. The only problem is, why would anyone want to be cured? It's fucking awesome being a vampire. Anyway, they cure some people, some people die, some vampires die, and the movie ends.
Twilight fans should stop touching the tips of their penises together long enough to watch how manly vampires live. There's no glitter, thunderstorms, or baseball in this vision of bloodguzzlers. Just tits, blood, and violence*.
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