Movie Review: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (Take Two)

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

Director: Eli Craig
Year: 2010
Genre: Comedy/Horror
Notable Cast:  Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, Katrina Bowden
Netflix Link:   Tucker & Dale vs. Evil
Quote to Note:  OH! OH MY GOD! He chopped off his bowling fingers!

Review:   This is what happens because of stereotyping.  People die, if we didn't have stereotyping in the world today, people wouldn't die.  It's the sad reality of what world we live in.  I bet I could be friends with a terrorist looking fellow if we didn't have stereotyping. OR you could try and have sex with a greek girl without wanting to bring a couple razers and 3 cans of shaving cream.  See what it does to us!  Jews aren't really cheap.  Wait, yes they are.  Fucking stereotyping.  Hillbillies are just really laid back down to earth people and frat guys are really just plain old douchebags.  


Give some love for the fishing boat. 

Score:
(10 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Daybreakers

Daybreakers

Director: The Spierig Brothers
Year: 2009
Genre: Horror
Notable Cast: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill
Netflix Link: Daybreakers
Quote to Note: Living in a world where vampires are the dominant species is about as safe as bare backing a 5 dollar whore.

Review: Fuck tweens and their love of gay vampires. This is how our favorite nocturnal murderers should live, dominant! There is only 5% of the human population remaining and vampires are going bat-shit crazy because they are running out of blood. Along comes a hematologist vampire who devises a way to cure vampirism. The only problem is, why would anyone want to be cured? It's fucking awesome being a vampire. Anyway, they cure some people, some people die, some vampires die, and the movie ends.

Twilight fans should stop touching the tips of their penises together long enough to watch how manly vampires live. There's no glitter, thunderstorms, or baseball in this vision of bloodguzzlers. Just tits, blood, and violence*.

* boats did not make an appearance in this film.

Score:
(8 Nolte Heads out of 10)