Movie Review: Nude Nuns with Big Guns

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

Director: Joseph Guzman

Year: 2010

Genre: Comedy (contrary to what IMDB says)

Notable Cast: Asun Ortega, David Castro, Xango Henry

Netflix Link:  It's so bad its not even on Netflix

Quote to Note:   "I bet half you penguins are getting poked by the preacher"

Review:  Now there was not much a guessing game when it came to this movie, other than, is it a porno? No, it is not a porno. Does the title deliver? Yes, it does. Not a real large amount of creativity went into the title. To tell you the god damn truth (yes I just took the lords name in vain, but so do a couple priests in this movie so I think I'm gonna be alright) not a substantial amount of creativity went into the movie at all. Its fucking nude nuns, literal and figurative, with big guns taking out a drug reign throughout New Mexico? With bad acting, bad production, a lot of just dog shit. The most creativity came at the end, I'm going to spoil the semen load out of this movie for you, well because face it, you weren't going to watch this load of shit anyway:

When the vigilante nun gets revenge at the end on Chavo the gang leader, he is in the midst of rape scene #3 in the film, yes 3, and the nuns shoot his dick off. He then proceeds to pick up his dick and holds it while getting shot in the head.

Once again, I happened to have found a film with absolutely no remnant of our favorite mode of transportation. It lacks the nautical voyage transportation. Hopefully in the sequel. Which WAS hinted at in the fuckin end. Good lord, I cannot fucking wait. 

Score:

(4 Nolte Heads out of 10)