The Slammin' Salmon
Director: Kevin Heffernan
Year: 2009
Genre: Comedy
Notable Cast: Jay Chandrasekhar, Michael Clarke Duncan, Will Forte
Netflix Link: The Slammin' Salmon
Quote to Note: You know what ten grand feels like in your pocket? It feels like a third cock.
Review: How disappointed was I to find out this movie wasn't a porn? On top of that revelation it's just not that funny. The two funniest parts of the movie were given away in the red band trailer, and the rest of it just screams straight-to-video. Meatdrapes aside, you can pretty much skip the rest of the film. If I were given the choice of re-watching this film, or slam the salmon... ...I'd fuck the fish.
It's a shame really. Broken Lizard have been great up to this point, but they get no love in the theater and therefore make no money for the studios. So instead of Super Troopers or Beerfest, we get shit like Date Night for our theater comedy viewing. And they are stuck with making low budgets shit heaps like this.
Surrogates
Director: Jonathan Mostow
Year: 2009
Genre: Sci-Fi / Action
Notable Cast: Bruce Willis, Jack Noseworthy, Radha Mitchell, Robots
Netflix Link: Surrogates
Quote to Note: Honey, I don't know what you are. You could be some big fat dude sitting in a stim-chair with his dick hanging out.
Review: The horribly gay dance club is an interesting choice for the start of this movie. Introducing Bruce Willis as a homosexual robot. Why is every surrogate flamboyant? At least they destroy every piece of robotic faggotry at the end of this film.
Observe and Report
Director: Jody Hill
Year: 2009
Genre: Comedy
Notable Cast: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Flaccid Cock, and Ray Liotta
Netflix Link: Observe and Report
Quote to Note: My dick is brown, you dumb mother fucker!
Review: If you like flaccid cock in your films, then this movie is for you. If you don't, then this film may still be for you. Either way, this film is filled with flaccid cock.
Score: 
(7 Nolte Heads out of 10)
