Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Movie Review: The Blair Witch Project

Director: No director, its real
Year: 1999
Genre: Horror
Notable People: Heather Williams, Michael Williams, Josh Leonard
Netflix Link: The Blair Witch Project
Quote to Note: Lets not call him 'the captain' you illiterate tv people, it's 'the skipper'



Review:   The "movie" that took over the year of 1999.  To think three kids went out into the woods without a fishing boat (fucking retards) to try and find a witch.  Now I put "movie" into quotes because this was real, yup.  Some person later found the footage of the Blair Witch in the woods, I'm going to say it was a wandering fisherman with a boat.  Boats let you survive, fact.  He then submitted it to Hollywood and this became a "movie".  Now you might say, "BUT THERES A SEQUEL" no shit, asshole.  Hollywood loved this so much they made a sequel to it.  This one is still real.  These three kids are dead.  Dont believe the milk carton saying they are "missing" they're dead.

Closing statement:  Why would anyone 'cast' that ugly ass bitch as the lead? Real.


Score:
(7 Nolte Heads out of 10)

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