We have moved

Well loyal readers of ours (all 5 of you) we have moved our movie reviews to a new undisclosed location.  Actually its right here.  The name has changed, the look has changed, but the writers and our sense of humor did not.  While that may disappoint a few of you, we feel sorry and you will be getting gift baskets with hammers in the mail.  What's the new blog you say? 

If you're feeling edgy, click the picture and you will be transported to a land of vulgarity, hate, and where HTML language doesn't suck as much.  I hope you enjoy our same sense of humor and the new place.  If not, then I feel bad for you.  Dont' do drugs kids, unless your willing to share with us.  

Happy Fucking Birthday Nick

Happy motherfucking birthday Mr. Nick Nolte.  

I want to tell you a small story I have about Mr. Nick. 

 It was about two years ago.  I was in California to see what everyone kept raving about this "awesome" weather.  Well, it was a Tuesday, the sun was beating down on me like a husband on a wife in Alabama.  I was dripping, sweating through my shirt, so I went to go find some air conditioning.  As I was on this hunt, I applied some chapstick and got laughed at by some queer ass, low pants wearing, fucks on skateboards drinking Voss water.  I ignored them and then walked about 20 yards and out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of this gleaming neon in red white and blue.  I turn to look at it, PBR.  I ventured into the bar, and right to the bathroom to take off my shorts and shirt and sit in the stall to cool off.  As I'm sitting in there, a man walks in and is on his cell phone.  He was screaming violently into this phone and then I hear a pause.  Next thing I hear is "FUCK" and a loud crash against the wall.  So I walk out of the stall to see what was up, forgetting to put my sweat soaked clothes on.  It was Nick Nolte, he takes one look at me and says "Move, you creepy ass fucking shitclown" and then walked out.

Movie Review: 50/50

50/50

Director: Jonathan Levine
Year: 2011
Genre: Comedy
Notable Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogan
Netflix Link: 50/50
Quote to Note: No one wants to fuck me.  I look like Voldemort





Review:  First thing I would do if I found out I had cancer would go off and buy a sweet boat and then sail to one of Nicholas Cage's islands and then proceed to poop in the lagoon.  For all we know I could have cancer, I haven't been to a doctor in at least 10 years.  Adam (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) did not.  Shame on you cancer boy.   Kyle (Seth Rogan), awesome friend for getting your best friend to shave his head with your ball fro shaver.  Props, that is a goal of mine. 

Score:
(8 Nolte Heads out of 10)

Movie Review: Paranormal Activity 3

Paranormal Activity 3

Director:Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman
Year: 2011
Genre: Horror
Notable Cast: Chloe Csengery, Jessica Tyler Brown, Christopher Nicholas Smith
Netflix Link: Paranormal Activity 3
Quote to Note: You're never gonna see anyone play bloody mary like I'm about to play bloody mary. 

Movie Review: Midnight In Paris

Midnight In Paris

Director: Woody Allen
Year: 2011
Genre: Comedy
Notable Cast: Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams
Netflix Link: Midnight In Paris
Quote to Note: Picasso only thinks women are to sleep with, or to paint

Movie Review: The Men Who Stare at Boats

The Men Who Stare at Boats

Director: Grant Heslov
Year: 2009
Genre: Comedy
Notable Cast: George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, Goats
Netflix Link: The Men Who Stare at Boats
Quote to Note: I drink. And I find classic rock helps.

The Human Centipede II (Second Sequence)

Director: Tom Six
Year: 2011
Genre: Horror
Notable Cast: Laurence Harvey, Ashlynn Yennie
Netflix Link: The Human Centipede II (Second Sequence)
Quote to Note: Oh, I'd rather fuck that retarded boy, but this'll do