Director: Terry Gilliam
Year: 2005
Genre: Drama / Fantasy
Notable Cast: Jeff Bridges, Jennifer Tilly, Jodelle Ferland
Netflix Link: Tideland
Quote to Note: He looks like a burrito.
Review: I’m not sure where to start with this movie, so how about here? I love Terry Gilliam. I love that he is one of the original members of Monty Python, and I love his films. Except this one. This movie was not only excessively boring, but it was also repulsive. I believe Gilliam was trying to get the viewers to experience what it is like to be a child again by telling the story through Jeliza-Rose's eyes. But the world she lives in is so corrupt and revolting that it actually becomes impossible to become attached to any of the characters. Are we meant to believe she is having a psychotic breakdown after the death of her parents? That is the only explanation for the horrific events that unfold after the death of her father. But not only are these events transpiring, she is partaking in most of them.
I did enjoy that Jeff Bridges' corpse was in most of the movie. Jeliza-Rose cooks his herione for him and he overdoses shortly after the movie begins. Now his corpse begins to rot. Jeliza-Rose continues to "pretend" that her dad is alive so she puts makeup on his bloated stinking corpse and stuffs peanut butter in his mouth. Later she meets new "friends" from a nearby house who promptly empty his corpse and stuff it with barbie doll heads. He spends the rest of the movie being moved around from scene to scene like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Weekend at Bernie's (which is a great idea for a movie now that I think of it). While this is happening Jeliza-Rose, who is about 10-12 years old, falls in love with a ~30 year old retard. As if the movie wasn't dismal enough already they kiss a number of times.
Anyway, I digress... The retard thinks he has a submarine. It's actually a large sheet of plastic covering a bunch of garbage and he sits in his "U-Boat" and acts like a retard. Also, Jeff Bridges has a viking boat model that he dreams of sailing to Jutland with. If it wasn't for the overabundance of boats and fake fucking retard boats I'd give this movie the middle finger.
(1 Swayze Head out of 10)
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