Movie Review: The Haunting in Connecticut

The Haunting in Connecticut

Director: Peter Cornwell
Year: 2009
Genre: Horror
Notable Cast: Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas, Martin Donovan
Netflix Link: The Haunting in Connecticut
Quote to Note: Do you really want to know how many times we stopped so he could vomit?

Review: I know nothing about Connecticut. So little, that I decided to do some research.

Here is what I found out about Connecticut:

• It's the Nutmeg State
• Settled by the Dutch
• It has a temperate climate
• It is 19.3% Italian and 40% Protestant
• It has a 6% sales tax
• Produces an inordinate amount of eggs, clams, and tobacco
• The name comes from the Mohegan word quonehtacut meaning "place of long tidal river"

And here is what happens in this movie:

• Bloody Mopping
• Vomiting
• Eye Lid Removal via Scissors
• Maggot Meat
• A Feathered Hat
• Wall Scratching
• Map of Goatswood
• Not a single fucking boat

When comparing the above lists it is easy to see that the State of Connecticut is far more terrifying than this film. So, if you're feeling the need to watch a horror movie I would suggest seeing Mystic Pizza instead. A film that truly captures the horror of Connecticut.

Score:
(2 Nolte Heads out of 10)