Director: Shane Van Dyke
Year: 2009
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Notable Cast: Shane Van Dyke, Erin Marie Hogan, Fia Perera
Netflix Link: Paranormal Entity
Quote to Note: Screaming
Review: Now, let me get on record I'm a huge fan of these kinds of movies, handheld camera ones. Its a lot like Paranormal Activity, except this one pretty much sucks. Especially if you've seen Paranormal Activity. There is some really fucking bad acting going on within the family. Maybe why you shouldn't have the Director as the main character? Best part was you never saw him. He was holding the camera.
I want to know why nobody decorated the house....or whoever did, they should be out of a job. Lets get some god damn paintings up on those walls, or at least shelves of some sort. These people must have had the least amount of assets in a family ever. There was a fucking room in the house with a table, a picture of their dead father, and his ashes. Thats it. Shrine room to the guy that wanted to rape his own daughter? Good Stuff. That thing I couldn't get past was the iPhone that was the house phone, at least make the house phone a real cordless house phone, don't make me pretend your iPhone was the house phone, jailebroken or not, it cant do that. This movie was lacking a ton of shit, too much really. It did though have a hot chick with huge bologna nipples though, literally. Deli meat.
Too much camera cutting to scenes where nothing fucking happened and a lot of screaming. Thats why there were no decent quotes, if you want a decent quote, go to the supermarket, walk up behind some lady pushing her cart full of groceries and grab her by the neck and whisper in her ear you want to see what her dirt box smells like and you got the written script for the movie.
My favorite part is the warning on the cover. Yea, WARNING, your about to get fooled into seeing your neighbors dog take a shit in your yard. A lot of thought went into this pile of used diapers.
Score: 
(3 Nolte Heads out of 10)
0 comments:
Post a Comment